Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I was not born in the 80's

I was not born in 80's. I didn't get to taste Bon Jovi through his long-hair, ripped jeans, shirts-with-no-sleeves era. I wasn't born in the 70's. I didn't get to protest, asking for love not war. I didn't get to enjoy the hippie awesomeness and my long, straight hair would have been popular as hell. I didn't get to do the peace sign when it actually meant something. I also wasn't part of the disco era. No pictures of me with an afro. No pictures of me with bell bottoms striking the John Travolta Saturday-night-fever pose. I was not born in the 60's. I didn't get to sport the mod style, complete with the cute, color block, little dress and white boots. I didn't get to see Twiggy emerge. I didn't get to see The Beatles change the sound of music forever.

I wasn't born in the 50's. I didn't get to experience the rebelliousness of what Rock 'n' Roll meant at the time. By the time I knew who Elvis had been, he was already dead. I didn't get to absorb the meaning of the classic leather jacket and what it transpired.

I was not born in the 40's either. I didn't get to fully experience the glory of the pin-up girl in its true form. I didn't get to savor the mystery of Humphrey Bogart, the rise of Lena Horne, Peggy Lee, Édith Piaf, Frank Sinatra, Glenn Miller among others. The beginning of Audrey Hepburn, the offset of Batman. The class of the black-and-white film period.

I wasn't born in the 20's. Ah, the roaring 20's. The flappers, the beginning of the "Jazz Age." The birth of the radio. I didn't partake in the 20's break from traditions. The glamour, the slinky knee-length dresses, chin-length bob, the pearls . . . The decade make-up stopped being associated with prostitutes only.

No sir. I wasn't born in any of those eras. Though I was born in 1987, by the time I became aware of the world around me, it was the 90's. The Backstreet boys, bubblegum pop, freakin Aqua and their Barbie girl crap! Belly button piercings, SpiceGirls, Britney Spears and lycra!

And then came the millennium. Backstreet boys still existed, so did Britney Spears. Jessica Simpson, Christina Aguilera followed. The overexposure, the crotch shots, the beginning of the Bush administration. Reality shows emerged, Newspapers began to die, Paris Hilton happened, Guantanamo Bay was created.

Yes, many good things happened in the 90's. But no one is going to remember it as the decade in which Seinfeld launched its pilot. Nobody connects the 90's and the first televised war: The Gulf War. No one but me will cherish the fact that Conan O'brien began his Late Night Show gig in 1993!

I hereby declare my disapproval of the time period I was born in. I want no part of a decade in which guys lift up their shirts and take mirror pictures and girls suck the stomach in, stick out their butts, pout and do the same.

I'm not happy and I think God might have made a mistake . . . with all due respect. I hope one day I'll know why, with my birth date began the death of almost all that is brilliant.

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