Sunday, August 29, 2010

Conan!!



I want to say Conan got robbed tonight at the Emmys, but I can't because the Daily Show is pure genius too. Oh Conebone...at least Leno didn't get nominated, and why should he? He sucks!

I kid, I kid.

No.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Mmm...Tom...



Once again, my laptop has been invaded by some mean virus and the entire memory has been erased. I had to reformat the entire system and all of my pictures are gone. GONE! I'm not that attached to the info in my computer, but still! I keep losing all my pictures, all because I procrastinated on installing the anti-virus that I had already PAID for, six months ago. Now the only thing that can console me is Tom Selleck. More specifically, Tom Selleck's moustache.


That's another playgirl cover I must get my hands on. Then all I have to do is move to New York, find the set of his new show "Blue Bloods," run like a lunatic through security with my magazine and sharpie and ask Tom to sign it.

Genius.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Ted Danson Is What Dreams Are Made Of



I'm a sucker for silver foxes. Among them: Anderson Cooper, Donald Sutherland, and Ted Danson. Beautiful, gorgeous, charming, enchanting, titillating, Ted Danson. While most people knew him as Sam Malone from Cheers, I met him as "Becker" a.k.a. the original Dr. House. To be honest, I don't think I've ever even seen and entire episode of Cheers. I know that's kind of like saying, "I love Bruce Springsteen, I've just never heard 'Born to Run,'" but I can't help it if the show premiered 5 years before I was born and ended when I was six years old. I became a fan after watching him as the misanthropic doctor Becker. I think my top 3 TV shows (in no particular order) are Boston Legal, Seinfeld, and Becker. House, The Office, and Lie To Me get 2nd place. Ted has been off the market for about 15 years, married to a beautiful woman named Mary Steenburgen, whom I want to hate but can't.

I know my chances with him are slim (just stay with me okay? My doctor says talking about my delusions helps me overcome them), but since I can't get a piece of that eye candy, I can get the next best thing: An autographed copy of the 1986 Ted Danson Cover on Playirl Magazine! All I need is the mag, Ted, and a pen.

The item is already on my amazon wishlist. So as soon as some 60-something year old woman dies, causing her grandchildren to go through her possessions, hoping to find something of value, and while on the search they find a copy of this 24-year-old magazine, and they decide to put it up on ebay or amazon or craiglist hoping another 60-something year old woman will find it valuable...It shall be mine! Then I only need to go to New York, find the filming location of his new show "Bored to Death," wait for him to get out of his trailer and ambush him with my playgirl and a sharpie.

Brilliant.





Monday, August 2, 2010

That's All I'm Sayin'




I haven't read the Twilight books. I saw the first movie of the saga, and that's how I know Twilight is not up my alley. I have friends swearing up and down the books are "waaaay better than the movie." I had one professor told me it's ok, just not very good literature.

I don't doubt it's interesting, the movie was. I mean, I didn't get up and walked out on it. But I seriously doubt The Twilight Saga will leave a big mark in the vampire genre. Not like Interview with the Vampire did, Not like The Lost Boys did, Not like Dracula did. At least that's what I believe. That's probably the reason why I'm not up-in-arms about it. I don't think it's here to stay. The movie had it's cliché moments, its interesting moments, and its "oh c'mon! Are you kidding me!?" moments. It's ridiculous (although understandable) to me how popular it became, but to each his own. Now, having said that, when you tell me it's the best book "ever" written, to that I shake my head and say: You need to read more, because boy...

You ain't seen nothing yet.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Positively 4th Street



You got a lotta nerve
To say you are my friend
When I was down
You just stood there grinning

You got a lotta nerve
To say you got a helping hand to lend
You just want to be on
The side that’s winning

You say I let you down
You know it’s not like that
If you’re so hurt
Why then don’t you show it?

You say you lost your faith
But that’s not where it’s at
You had no faith to lose
And you know it

I know the reason
That you talk behind my back
I used to be among the crowd
You’re in with

Do you take me for such a fool
To think I’d make contact
With the one who tries to hide
What he don’t know to begin with

You see me on the street
You always act surprised
You say, “How are you?” “Good luck”
But you don’t mean it

When you know as well as me
You’d rather see me paralyzed
Why don’t you just come out once
And scream it

No, I do not feel that good
When I see the heartbreaks you embrace
If I was a master thief
Perhaps I’d rob them

And now I know you’re dissatisfied
With your position and your place
Don’t you understand
It’s not my problem

I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment
I could be you

Yes, I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
You’d know what a drag it is
To see you

Lyrics by Bob Dylan
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